Parental experiences of adult child death from cancer.

BACKGROUND Although parents experience the death of adult children diagnosed with cancer, most of the literature on adult child death has examined the issues of violent death or suicide. Where death from cancer has been studied, the focus has been mainly on psychological outcomes. Little is known about parents' experiences with this phenomenon. OBJECTIVE To understand parents' experience of having an adult child die from cancer. DESIGN Descriptive-exploratory study utilizing semistructured interviews with parents of 10 adult children who had died of cancer. SETTING Parents who had lost a child to cancer were interviewed in their own home or in the interviewer's office. ANALYSIS Interviews were recorded, transcribed, and analyzed. Latent content analysis and constant comparison techniques were used to develop coding labels, which were then classified into categories and subcategories. RESULTS Parents experienced a tension between their strong desire to "parent" their child, and their recognition that their child was an autonomous adult, sometimes with a spouse and family who took precedence over them. Parents of a dying child felt helpless, and sometimes were excluded/unacknowledged by health care professionals. To cope, they reconfigured their parent role using various strategies. After the death of their child further reconfiguring takes place, including preserving memories of the child, and talking about him/her. Continuing family and social relationships influence this stage. CONCLUSION The conflict of wishing to "parent" a dying adult child while recognizing the child's autonomy creates uncertainty for parents at an already stressful time. Facilitating parent-child communication during the illness is important. After the death of the adult child parents may continue to face difficulty with their perceived role in society (parent and/or bereaved person), and sometimes within their family. Health care professionals should make greater efforts to include the parents of the dying adult in the circle of care. The bereavement experience of these parents is intense and long-lasting. Further research is needed regarding the ways in which health care providers can best assist parents to successfully integrate this profound loss.